Cody Prouty

Tinkering is the thing that keeps my brain connected to itself. Taking apart electronics is how I imagine brain surgeons operate. Slowly peel back the layers; sometimes saw through the hard outer shell. Once inside, you dissect the soft delicate pieces that store all of the important bits. How many different ways can you inspect the electrical connections, repair shorts, and resolder pads? How many different ways can connections between brain cells be repaired? Unfortunately, it is not so easy with millions of cells.

I feel like the continuity in my brain is shorted since I have been on anticonvulsants. It could just be the alteration in connectivity from seizures themselves. It’s like all of the capacitors and fuses in my brain took a short bath and came up corroded.

I keep thinking about the rigid feeling and loss of control. I keep remembering my face on the floor. Being too confused to have any fear is actually comforting. The fear does not set in until later.

Do I feel a connection to the broken and forgotten things in the world? Why do I get excited when my computer has an issue or one of my friends break their phone? Picking up the broken pieces and putting them back together again makes me feel powerful. Control is fleeting, autonomy is a gift, and the ability to do things on your own is the most important demonstration of power you can perform.